Phrasebook: Taarof and Polite Expressions
Taarof is the Iranian system of ritual courtesy: offering, refusing, insisting and deferring, often several times over. It can puzzle newcomers, because what is said is not always what is meant. A host will offer food you are expected to refuse once or twice before accepting; a taxi driver may refuse your fare to be polite.
The general rule is simple: if something is offered, decline politely at least once; if you are refused, insist. After two or three rounds, the real answer usually becomes clear. For taarof in business, see our guide to negotiating with Iranian partners.
Expressions you will hear
| Persian | Say it | English |
|---|---|---|
| بفرمایید | befarmâyid | please (go ahead, come in, sit down, help yourself, here you are) |
| قابل نداره | ghâbel nadâre | it’s not worthy of you (said when you try to pay; insist anyway) |
| خواهش میکنم | khâhesh mikonam | please; you’re welcome; not at all |
| زحمت نکشید | zahmat nakeshid | please don’t go to any trouble |
| مزاحم نمیشم | mozâhem nemisham | I won’t impose on you (said when declining an invitation) |
| خسته نباشید | khaste nabâshid | may you not be tired (a greeting to someone working) |
| دستتون درد نکنه | dastetun dard nakone | thank you (for food, a favour or a gift) |
| چشم | chashm | of course, gladly (literally “on my eye”) |
| قربونت برم | ghorbunet beram | very affectionate thanks, between friends and family |
| ببخشید، پشتم به شماست | bebakhshid, poshtam be shomâst | sorry for turning my back to you |
| مبارک باشه | mobârak bâshe | congratulations |
| سر شما سلامت | sar-e shomâ salâmat | my condolences |
Tehran tip: Khaste nabâshid is one of the most useful phrases you can learn. Say it to a shopkeeper, a cleaner or a colleague at the end of the day, and you will see faces light up.